Agro Commodities & Agricultural Produts

Question by ??: please correct this paragraph , if there is any error?
Business Scope: Raw Coal Mining (Operating for Branches Only), Coal Preparation, Building Materials (Brick Manufacturing), Power Generation, Mining Industry and Trade, Timber, Water and Electricity Installation (Operate with Qualification Certificate), Non-staple Foodstuffs, General Merchandise, Grocery (Except Fireworks and Firecrackers), Accommodation #

Is “Water and Electricity Installation (Operate with Qualification Certificate)” a right expression? any other better way to say it ?

if there is any error , please put it forward ,and correct it , many thanks

Best answer:

Answer by Nunitak
This is mostly a LIST, not a paragraph. A paragraph consists of sentences with clear meaning, such as this:

I have worked extensively in the Coal Mining, Water and Power Generation sectors as well as General Merchandise and Building Materials (primarily brick and timber manufacture and marketing ).

Groceries do not count for much in comparison to the foregoing. Accommodation # is a term which is not clear in the Western Nations. But “Certified Operator” is a better term than Qualification Certificate unless you say “I have Qualification Certificates for operation and management of Water and Electricity installations.”

So, if we add that it becomes:

“I have worked extensively in the Coal Mining, Water and Power Generation sectors as well as General Merchandise and Building Materials (primarily brick and timber manufacture and marketing ). I have Qualification Certificates for the Operation and Management of Water and Electricity Installations. I have experience with coal preparation for the latter.”

That is the important stuff. Fireworks should not be mentioned because it is not important and you are not qualified. Groceries any diligent worker can handle well, also not important.

So the words inside the quotes are BETTER than a mere list and have a more clear meaning in the English speaking world. Sentences are better than lists, the new paragraph says that YOU can do do some things rather than being a mere list of where you have worked. This is what they are looking for — a man with experience and some expertise.

I hope this is what you wanted. If not, perhaps I did not understand the question.

If your Certificates are for Operation (not Management) it becomes:

“I have worked extensively in the Coal Mining and Marketing, Water and Power Generation sectors as well as General Merchandise and Building Materials (primarily brick and timber manufacture and marketing ). I have Qualification Certificates for the Operation of Water and Electricity Installations. I have experience with coal preparation for the latter.”

This is a paragraph and it is much more clear and much better than a list.

If you have done Mining other than coal, you should include that.

Mining businesses in the West do NOT want anyone who is interested in firecrackers and fireworks. Do not mention those! No sparks, no open flames please. It is a SAFETY matter.

If Accommodation # is some type of Permit or Certificate, explain it more clearly. This may be called a License or a Professional License in the West.

You must find the proper names for your Credentials (the papers which show that you are authorized and capable of doing your work). Perhaps this is a Merchant License since you mention it after General Merchandise and Groceries.

What do you think? Answer below!